October 16, 2020

Things have really seemed to change over the last few years.  It started with a slight, constant ache in our back day after day.  We attributed that to carrying a newborn around 24/7, though.  Then we moved on to waking up every day...already ready to go back to bed.  But again, we had a newborn.  Who wouldn’t be sleep deprived?  Next, we started noticing some pesky gray hairs coming in, but even our hairdresser said pregnancy hormones change your hair completely!  We were sure they would fade away and we’d go back to normal shortly.  But here we are, nearly two years later.  Our now toddler doesn’t need to be carried all day, so why the back ache? He sleeps through the night, so we can’t really say our sleep is interrupted anymore.  And those gray hairs? They didn’t fade - they multiplied. 

So, what the &!$# happened?!?!  In short, we got old.  But also, we had kids!  No, we can’t blame them for all this aging, but did anyone else think a lot of these changes were merely temporary?  We just knew once we got the hang of parenting, we’d start resembling that prior version of ourselves again.  Month by month went by and sure, our jeans started to fit again!  We even started fitting in showers to our daily routine like the old days.  And yet, things just felt different.  While this might be a hard fact to face, it’s important to say: that pre kid you?  It’s gone.

It’s really not that strange once you say it out loud.  Are you the same person you were in 5th grade?  Probably not. (And yes, we know the 90s are coming back, but please, just say no to those hair trends).  How could we possibly be the same after birthing a living being?  Sounds pretty crazy, right? And yet, that was the expectation we had, and we hope we’re not alone in that thought.  Not only did we change physically, but mentally, our lives were basically flipped upside down.  We no longer just thought about us all day, or what our big weekend plans were, we had to focus on keeping a tiny little human alive!  We never had responsibility quite like this before.  Our minds constantly race 100 miles per minute now, so even if we are sleeping through the night, it can explain the constant exhaustion.  Some days it does feel like we’re carrying the weight of the world on our backs, and it might be attributable to the achiness.  

While this all can cause a degree of anxiety, we have to say, having kids also brought us joy that we only thought existed in fairy tales.  We don’t know anyone else that is THAT happy to see us when we roll out bed, do you?  Watching those first steps - it’s like watching a real life miracle.  Having a child creates a sense of a completeness in your heart, that we truly didn’t know existed.  None of this means every day is great, and it certainly doesn’t mean you’re going to be young and hip, but it does mean every day will be meaningful.  So just embrace it, you’re officially old with kids now.

Anne A
Anne A